Rescuing Together: The Importance of the Faith Community in the Midst of Grief

[Continuing our current series, we explore why being a part of a community of faith is absolutely critical if we are to grieve faithfully as Christians.]

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."  Romans 12:15

     The well-known story is told of the man who found himself trapped on the roof of his house in the midst of a massive flood.  He prayed fervently to God for rescue, but as a neighbor's boat, police helicopter, and Coast Guard raft each came to him, he refused their aid, crying out instead , "The Lord will save me!" Having rejected all aid, he eventually succumbed to the floodwaters and drowned.  Standing before God in heaven, he asked dejectedly, "God, why did you not save me?" to which God replied, "What do you mean?  I sent you a boat, a helicopter, and the Coast Guard!"

      I doubt that any of us, in the midst of a flood, would mistake a Coast Guard boat or helicopter as anything but a form of rescue from God.  And yet how many of us, in the midst of grieving a loss, pray to God for comfort, provision, and peace, and yet fail to recognize our own church community as an avenue, perhaps the largest avenue, of God's answer to those prayers?

     Like the man on his roof, we reject the very things sent to save us in the flood of our grief.  We pray for comfort, but refuse to let fellow church members talk to us.  We pray for peace, but reject a minister or elder's invitation to meet.  We pray for strength, but push aside every form of outreach from our fellow Christians.  We fail to see the sheer volume of phone calls, cards, emails, and words of condolence from our Christian family as the very essence of God's response to our prayers for help.

     Grief certainly can have a blinding and numbing effect on us, especially in the first several weeks.  We can be surrounded by people expressing their sincere love for us and not feel any of it, as we stand in the foyer after the funeral.  Cards and phone calls may not really make an impact on us.  And that is somewhat inevitable- it comes with the territory.  But in time our faith in God's provision should lead us to recognize and acknowledge that all of those forms of outreach are signs of God walking with us and grieving alongside us, just as Jesus did in John 11.  

     Through His people, God honors His promise of peace and calm for our troubled hearts (John 14:27).  

     It is fellow Christians who mourn with us, reminding us that God mourns with us.  It is fellow Christians who point us back to the Word time and again, reminding us that we are not like those who have no hope (1 Thess. 4:13).  It is fellow Christians who show patience and compassion to us as we wrestle through the myriad of emotions that accompany a journey of grief, because God is a patient and compassionate God.  And it is fellow Christians who show us hospitality, pray faithfully for us, and use their unique gifts to minister to us (Romans 12), because God has called them to do so out of his own love for each of us.  

     The floodwaters of grief are strong and deep, but through the local church and all of its forms of outreach and care, God rescues us, comforts us, and provides for us.  Let us be mindful of this important theological reality.  When we ourselves are mourning, let us allow the church to minister to us in all its many forms.  When someone among us is mourning, let us fulfill our high calling in Romans 12 to minister , to show hospitality, to pray for, and to mourn with them.  In doing so, we answer the prayers of those who cry out to God for peace and comfort.

Learning Together: The Importance of the Faith Community in the Midst of Grief

[Continuing our current series (see the previous post below), we explore why being a part of a community of faith is absolutely critical if we are to grieve faithfully as Christians.]

     Your first day, at your new job, at your new company.

     Do you remember how that day felt?  Perhaps one of your biggest emotions that day was anxiety as a result of uncertainty.  Your excitement at your new fresh start quickly gives way to the realization of just how little you know about your new place of employment.

     How does this new and different copier work?  Is there a place I can store my lunch?  What is the basic attitude toward vacations and personal days- is there a limit?  Do I need to check with someone before I leave the building?

     I began my new ministry work a little over two months ago.  In those first few weeks I came to rely heavily upon our church secretaries and our executive minister, all of whom patiently guided me through what was certainly, to them, the most mundane tasks.  Setting up my email, showing me how to use the copier, a tutorial on the different computer programs we utilize.  Every part of how this church office runs is different from the church I came from- where would I be without these faithful guides to show me the way?

      A significant amount of guidance is needed just to use the office copier on it's best day.  Now imagine the copier is broken- what chaos!  If we are this dependent on others when facing a broken copier at a new job, why would we think any less guidance would be necessary to walk through a time of grief as a Christian, when life itself seems to break down?

      Perhaps the thing that frustrates me most about Christians who deny their need to be a member of the local church is the danger they pose to non-Christians when things get difficult.  I could cause quite a bit of damage trying to wade my way through that broken copier, but it's no comparison to the spiritual and theological havoc that can be caused from a "lone eagle" Christian giving advice to a grieving friend or even trying to cope with their own grief themselves.

     The problem is this:  Without a community of faith to continually guide and correct us, we will always have a distorted view of who God is and what He is like.  On a good day this is a dangerous combination of elements, but in a time of grief where we are vulnerable and asking some of the most difficult questions a human can pose, this is a theological disaster.  A skewed portrait of God can irretrievably push someone, even ourselves, to walk away from God when we question his goodness and faithfulness in a time of grief because we have an idea of him that is not true...and there is no community of faith to correct it.

     When Priscilla and Aquila met Apollos, they saw both his great potential as an evangelist but also his need to know the "way of God more accurately" (Acts 18).  The community of faith set about lovingly guiding and correcting this young man's understanding of God, with the result that he became a great messenger for the Lord.  It is the church community, Paul says, that enables us to "reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature...[no longer] tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming" (Ephesians 4).  The faith community of the local church exists to help each of its members hold on to good and right views of God, so that when the wind and waves of life become violent, we will not be carried away.  

At some point, all of us need to hear "It is well with my soul" sung to us, and only the local church can accomplish that great act of faith.

      

     In storms we feel most vulnerable, and grief is one of the greatest storms we can face.  In the church we hold up a Biblical understanding of God and hold fast to Biblical teaching for times of trouble.  After all, grief is no place for the lone eagle Christian, but the household of God stands ready to guide, comfort, and teach.